Conceived in lies
Burned by humanity
Broken by love
To the point where there's nothing much left
All the good pieces have been scooped away
Little by little
All the times you had to pay your way with blood add up
Your dues have become all that is left of you
Scarred skin and old tattoos
The meaning of which have become lost to you
There are no more bottles to drown in
Because they have all come back up and left fowl memories
More lessons learned the shitty way

Lonely Nights

How tired can you be and still find it impossible to sleep
Read another chapter
Stretched out alone in a bed made for two
You feel his love but it's not the same
You're desperate for his body
His arms wrapped around you
How easy it is to fall asleep in his embrace
How insanely difficult when you're alone
You're alright girl
Just put on another bedtime album
Read another chapter
You'll see him soon enough

I've been thinking
And thinking is not the greatest thing I can do
I go in circles
I never find a single resolution
I get a little anxious
I sometimes break a sweat
It's all just silly really
I've been drinking
And drinking never solves a single thing
It makes me horny
It makes me dumb
It sometimes makes me angry
It makes me wish sometimes that you would violate me
Take me brutally
Rape me violently
Fuck me a way that I've never been fucked before
Sometimes I wish you'd penetrate me
With all of your anger and hate
Let it all out and leave it inside of me
And I will enjoy it leaking out slowly
And I will enjoy my bruises as they fade
Because I'm just sick that way

Have you seen strange things inside?
Like me, have your dreams died?
We've all been there and back again.
It just gets easier and easier to let things go.
To give up hope.
To lose control.

I've had death's hand on my shoulder.
I've done things young.
I should have waited till I was older.
Apparently, I'm the maker of my own destiny.
Apparently.

Let's rip what's left of life to shreds.
Destroying hearts.
Destroying heads.
This world is bitter.... at least, what's left.
Let's ride the waves of hatred to the end.
Tear the souls away from those who oppose dictatorship.
For they are weak and we are strong.
Let's bomb this earth to hell and back.

Do you burn like I do
When you're trying to fly
Do you always end up dying
Over and over
Will we ever find rest from the madness
Stop your pacing
You're driving me more crazy than I already am
We can die together
If you'll just take my hand
We can live together as woman and woman
Because there's not a man between the two of us
Do you feel like me
Like you could just cry and cry
If only you could find a way to remove the stopper that you have pounded into place
Stop tearing strips of paper
We're not crazy
We don't need to make pretend
Just lay yourself down in our big bed
We can stare into each others eyes
And hold on tight

Bloody On The Bathroom Floor

I press my head to the glass
And I smash my way through it
I pull the shards from my neck
And I move on
In a world that cannot hold me
But cannot set me free
I'm bloody... again

It's cold in the kitchen
Bloody on the bathroom floor
I loosened the screws that held me down
And I moved on
In a world that cannot lift me
But cannot bring me down
I'm bloody... again

I want him
I won't stop until I feel him
Pressed against my skin
I'm bloody... again
And never again

I will always be this same girl
That you have come to know
Although I will change subtly
So will you
And that is how we grow
But will we grow together
Or will we grow apart
If you can stay the same girl
That I have come to adore
Then we deserve each other
Because honesty is a commodity these days
It's one that's hard to come by
Because faithfulness almost doesn't exist
In this screwed up society
Because I believe in happy endings

Fragility Is A Place Inside My Heart

October
Dead leaves fall
I lie prostrate in the arms of my mannequin lover
In the arms of my own desire
And I feel nothing
Absolutely nothing
I cut a piece off to save
But lost it along the way

November
My heart is lifted in the cold
I kneel
I sometimes crawl across the love I've spent upon the floor
Love left rejected
With my needs left neglected
So I take it in my own hands once again

Fear Of Living

Overcome by fear of living
Love of death and dying
Only vodka shuts the doors pried open
The haunted halls you walk
To skeletons you talk
At my skeleton you gawk
As if you've never seen me bare before
Lost among the catacombs
Live amidst the dead
Wake me from my slumber
To join you in your bed
Questions are asked by the light of a candle
Written on paper soaked in your blood
But the answers are hidden
Even hidden from us
Behind doors of the unknown
Doors that haven't been pried yet
Halls that haven't been found yet
Live the dead among the living
Live amongst the living dead

Alright, this post definitely needs an introduction. More than that, it needs a disclaimer. As in, I am totally not a homicidal maniac! I was just reading through some stuff that I had written and I came across this and thought it was really well done.

I know a way to bury memories with a knife
Let's go there and back again together
Or maybe I'll come back alone
My words can cut through bone
This time I think I'll use a hatchet though
We'll do the murder dance together baby
Once I get you all alone
I'll teach you all the steps
You'll be a pro before we're done
I found a way to kill the past for good
It's in the basement locked away
My little secret
You see, we both have got our secrets
The difference between you and me is this:
You kill me emotionally
And I will kill you physically